December 19, 2016 / by Eric
The Nine or So Days of Christmas

If you’re anything like us (which is to say, roughly humanoid in shape, arguably sentient and currently breathing involuntarily) you’ve probably glanced at a calendar sometime in the last quarter, quite possibly around Thanksgiving, noted that Christmas landed on a Sunday this year and said, “F@ck it, I’ll deal with it the week before.”

Well my relatively sentient, roughly bipedal friends, that week before is now actually here. I know. I know. I’m as shocked and bewildered as you. But fear not! We’re here for you!

seriously, every time

Every day from now through Christmas itself and beyond, including Christmas Eve this Saturday, we’ll be open from at least noon until at least 10pm for all of your holiday game and gift buying needs. And, as always, we’ll have a wide selection of Pre-Wrapped White Elephant and Secret Santa gifts in clearly marked nerd and geek themes at qualifyingly low prices for all of your desperately-last-minute needs. On your way right now? SO ARE WE! That’s what “conveniently located” means! We’re literally ON THE WAY to that friend-of-a-friend’s party that you didn’t know that you were going to be invited to but are still glad to be going to because you’re still new in town and the Seattle Freeze is all too f@cking real this time of year. And we will hook you up with the evening’s it’s-not-a-competition-but-you’re-still-winningest nerd gift of the night. Oh yes we will. And it’ll be amazingly well wrapped (for free!) to boot!

so wonderfully wrapped.

“My names Fezzi and I wrap well, got a castle up on Beacon that’s where I dwell.”

And we’re still literally the only place in town to buy truly amazing, absolutely one-of-a-kind nerd gifts like Barb paper dolls.

babs-dol

Star Wars earrings.

swe

Questionably licensed lighters!

light-1

And more!

But wait! That’s not all! Not only do we hook you up with the sweetest of holiday deals on the amazingest of unobtainium all week prior… but WE ALSO host an annual Christmas Eve celebration to ensure that you get the last minute gifts you need without sacrificing worker safety or well being… AND we also follow Christmas itself with three days of our own unique house blend of holiday sales including…

Boxing Day, December 26

featuring knock out deals like ALL STORE CREDIT IS WORTH 50% MORE ON ALL ITEMS!

Karate Day, December 27

featuring bone shattering deals like ALL PREVIOUSLY OWNED GAMES ARE 50% OFF OF THEIR ALREADY AMAZINGLY LOW PRICES!

and Ninjitsu Day, December 28

featuring deals that roll up on you and smoke you like a blunt like 50% OFF OF ALL PREWRAPPED WHITE ELEPHANT AND SECRET SANTA GIFTS!

So whether it’s right now or the day after, or the day after that, get yer’ butt down here, buy all of the things, have a beer, try out one of our five sweet new pinball games and get yer’ ass in the holiday spirit already! You’ll be warm and mildly intoxicated that you did!

December 17, 2015 / by Eric
OMG!!! TRIVIA!!!

Tonight! Thursday, December 17th, at 8pm (7:30 if you actually want seats, 6:30 if you want dinner) at the ever exciting Raygun Lounge it’s…

A GEEK OUT TRIVIA CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Featuring!

Birthday girl Kelly Young!

santa kelly

Santa kissing booth with Mr. T.

Santa T

And shopkeep Eric Logan as Fezziwig in .*

At least two of the three appearances listed here are actually real.

*At least two of the three appearances listed here are actually real.

PLUS!

Live Kazoo Music! Celebrity Podcasters! Silly hats! Prizes! Geeky Trivia!

AND!
It’s all FREE!**

**But drink some beer and eat some nachos anyway, you cheap bastards. It’s how we pay the rent on those tables you sit at.

April 07, 2015 / by Eric

2015 is turning out to be the best year ever and we’re going to celebrate it with you at every turn we get. Starting with bringing back FFFPT!

Or Facebook Fan Festival Party Time as it’s known on “the streets.”

You feel me?

You feel me?

Yeah you do.

You feel me.

Stay in school.

Stay in school!

That’s right. The moment that hits 1900 likes, I do a special dance,

and I hand out FREE T-SHIRTS to the first 19 unsuspecting people that walk through the door.

Mailman! Free shirt. Lady with a baby who wants to use the bathroom. Free shirts. For both of you. Baby gets a mens small. He’ll grow into it. Pee Wee Herman? What are you doing here? Free Shirt. Also mens small because… you’ll look great. Really. Just go with me on this. Whoa! Not that far, Pee Wee! My god, man! Decorum. You, walking in unexpectedly on Pee Wee and I, “lalalalala,” FREE SHIRT.

It’s just that goddamn easy! Free shirts for everybody forever!*

-Eric

*First 19 people to walk through the door only, don’t listen to Eric when he gets like this. The breakfast cereal will wear off soon. -Amy