September 23, 2015 / by Aric Fehrenbacher

Battle for Zendikar is here! The Eldrazi are back!

Is this not a reasonable place to park?

Is this not a reasonable place to park?

Planeswalkers have consistent design! Enemy colored man-lands (why can’t we call them lady-lands or just creature-lands?!)! No more color seeded pre-release packs! Getting to play a game we all enjoy with awesome people!

Now, I’ve heard that some of you grumpier planeswalkers out there are groaning over how quickly Magic is returning to Zendikar. Well I for one welcome the glorious return of our new tentacled and tongue-abdomened overlords, but putting personal politics aside I think this is going to be one of the best pre-releases ever. How (you impossibly ask without typing thus confirming that yes, you may indeed be the telepath your step-mother said you could never be)?

Well, first off our three pre-releases taking place at 12pm and 5pm on Saturday and 12pm on Sunday are only $25 if you preregister in store before the 26th! And our prize structure will be as dope as ever over a three-round sealed tourney insuring that everyone (yes even you 0-3 Scrubby Mcscrubberson) walks away with something. Cheaper pre-releases? Prizes for everyone? What sweet hell is this?

Secondly, we will have the BEST SPELL SLINGER THIS SIDE OF THE GREATER SEATTLE AREA READY TO THROW DOWN: DOCTOR CHRISTOPHER THUNDER-CHEEKS PEELER ESQUIRE!

Seen here in his natural environment. Sitting on the lap of a complete stranger.

Seen here in his natural environment.
Sitting on the lap of a complete stranger.

Play him and get a pack, win and get another pack! It’s a win-win you fools!

Finally, we will have the kindest, most supportive, and best-looking Magic community in all of Seattle present.
Team Gamma
Now I maybe biased but the members of Team Gamma (patent pending) are some of the most inclusive, patient, and best behaved players in this entire city and I will engage in a well-choreographed dance-rumble with anyone who claims otherwise. Whether this is going to be your first prerelease or your 50-billionth, you should come on down to Gamma Ray Games, get a drink, and play some cards for incredibly low stakes with people who are just as excited as you to play with new cards that feature the love-spawn of Geiger and Lovecraft. I’ll see you there.

All of My Love,
Aric Fehrenbacher

P.S. “What’s the prize structure?” We haven’t received our product yet to verify so I’ll have a much better idea when it actually arrives on Thursday but expect it to be an incredibly even spread. So if you’re thinking of coming down to try and shark our players there will be very little in it for you. Also you suck.